Written by “Perseverance is Strength.” Japanese Proverb
This past week I confronted some feelings of doubt and discouragement after one of our classes where Sensei asked for us black belt candidates to demonstrate Seisan kata and in the later weapons class, Urashi bo kata. These unannounced tests are to be expected but I was simply disappointed with my performance in both cases (the bo kata I effectively mental locked soon after the start). After class and during my jog home I started to doubt myself, being self-critical and in that brief moment I allowed my emotions to get the best of me in feeling a rush of outright discouragement and negativity. These feelings and associated thoughts lingered into the next day, but I meditated and imagined the doubt and discouragement being washed away; like a massive boulder blocking a natural path water wants to take as it flows down a mountain…over time the water will erode the rock away and flow unimpeded.
Upon reflection, when I start to doubt myself and/or feel discouraged I must remember this very lesson; Persistence, patience, positivity and practice will carry me though. There will be setbacks; it is what we do with them, what we learn from them and how we seek to overcome such setbacks or obstacles that allow us to progress.
After spending some more time this week focused on Urashi Bo, kata practice and my training overall, my confidence is renewed and I am looking forward to making more progress in the week ahead.
Sir, I saw both your Seisan as well as Urashi Bo this past weekend – nothing to be disappointed about in your performance there. However, I hear you with self doubting, that is the biggest challenge to overcome anywhere in our personal life. But…as it turns out even the greatest have and had self doubts. What book are you reading right now? I just finished “Zen in the Martial Arts” from Joe Hyams. He has a whole chapter “Confident Seeing” talking about doubts and he learns a valuable lesson from his teacher, Bruce Lee. Lee says “the mind is like a fertile garden. It will grow anything you wish to plant – beautiful flowers or weeds.” He suggests to not allow negative thoughts enter the mind as they will strangle your confidence. But how do you do that? Lee’s secret was to visualize the thoughts written on paper and then you mentally light it on fire. The thought is destroyed and cannot enter your mind. Try it next time!