Written by I don’t even know where to start….A lot of what I have learned lately, has to do with surrounding yourself with like minded people, finding your tribe, sharing your goals with those close to you, having a support system, always striving to be better, many positive spins.
But there was always the underlying theme of knowing when to let go. Understanding that as I become a better version of myself, there will be those who don’t understand my Why. And that I may have to let that person go. Especially if they were starting to hold me back.
I wasn’t worried about having to let go of anyone. I was fully confident in all of my close friends and KNEW they would be supportive. Even if they didn’t agree with my Why, they would at least be supportive.
As I committed myself to this challenge, I noticed one of my friends started to change. Our friendship became a constant argument. To the point where we argued about what the meaning of friendship was. I realized that maybe, I needed to let this friendship go. The breaking point was when they belittled my journey. It was ‘a waste of time’. Wow! That really hurt. I made the decision that I could no longer be friends with this person.
I have had people come and go in my life, as we all do. But this hit a little different.
It may sound selfish, but I am proud of myself. The old me would have stayed, and let this person’s negativity push me away from my goals. The old me, would have sacrificed my goals and values to maintain this friendship. The old me. It feels good to type that and read it as I write this.
Especially for you youngsters 😉 never let anyone hold you back. It has taken me many years to learn, understand and accept this. Your core values, your goals, and your dreams are your’s alone. Don’t ever let anyone attempt to take those from you. Even if it means losing a friend. You might not be Mr./Mrs. Popular. You might become an outlier for a bit. As you grow and your tribe changes, there may be times you are the lone wolf. And that is okay. Let that sink in, it is okay to be alone on your journey. If being a leader, having high moral standards, and a sense of integrity was easy, everyone would be doing it.
In some aspects of my life, I have been alone for a while now. Until I found my way back to Isshinryu. Meeting new friends and catching up with old ones. I have found more like minded people, striving for excellence. Concentrating on discipline, service to others, self awareness and dedication. When I get tired and the negative thoughts start creeping in, I remember you, and that we are all in this together. I am very honored to be on this journey with you all. And I am excited to see the transitions we make along the way.
I am glad you dropped that negative friend. They were not a friend when they said those words.They were probably jealous and knew they couldn’t do it themselves. It good to surround yourself with supportive positive friends. Don’t waste energy on negativity.
You are so right! I have actually feel a difference in my energy now. Being around that negativity was draining me and I didn’t even realize it!
I genuinely enjoy connecting with you Elan. Where I lost one connection, I was blessed with your’s. Can’t wait to train with you again! One month down! 12 more to go!
It was ‘a waste of time’….That’s unfortunate someone in your life said that to you. I think you made the right decision in letting them go. You probably heard the saying “We’ are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” A nice person will lower their standards to match the standards of the people they spend time with. This is because nobody wants to feel alone, especially if they’re around people. So it’s best to move on and find a social group headed in the same direction…onward and upward, as they say.
I have heard something similar, but not the part about the 5 people. Very interesting. It makes a lot of sense though….. I have some reflecting to do. 🧐
I don’t know this person at all, but I’d be willing to be that they aren’t a great example of fitness or character. Very successful people don’t usually “punch down”. Instead, the are either too busy to say anything negative at all, or they will support you in your quest to better yourself. In my experience, it’s always been the least successful and most negative people that tell you why you can’t or shouldn’t do something great. It’s true in fitness, business, and personal relationships. Surround yourself with like-minded people and start looking for people that are in a place in their life that you want to be! Get away from those crabs at the bottom of the bucket trying to pull you back down.