Written by Originally, this started out as my Black Belt essay with a little twist…. Towards the end I decided to change it. So now, this is my challenge to you all, for empathy training and random acts of kindness.
As a child, I was never proficient in any sport. I was athletic enough to make it through practice or a game. But I was a far cry from being the MVP in any kind of way, on any team. And back in the day the game was kickball! I hated kickball. Not necessarily the game. But I dreaded going to P.E., standing in line to pick teams, and always being the last one to get picked. The “loser,” the team “got stuck with.” That pit in the stomach feeling stays with you, for a while. Especially as a third grader. Have you ever had that feeling with anything in life? Whether it be sports, academic clubs, high school clique’s, work associations. The odd man out syndrome. Keep that feeling in your mind for a minute.
As I got older, I started to notice similar circumstances. I watched the kid in Jr. High who never had a place to sit for lunch… he sat by himself on the stairs. The transfer student, who made the basketball team but always had to sit by herself on the bus going to away games because she didn’t have any friends. Even now, in my 30’s, the cadet in the academy who no one liked, because English is his second language, and he had an accent.
Our empathy training helps us recognize these situations and share the feelings this person is experiencing. You can see the expression on their face. And almost always you can see their body language change, a slight drop in the shoulders, a glance to the ground, a dimness in the expression in their eyes. Remember that feeling I told you to hold onto…. Yep, that one. You know what that feeling feels like. Now, you know what it looks like.
The Challenge- I challenge you all to utilize your empathy training to look for a specific random act of kindness. Find the odd man out and be their buddy for lunch, for class, whatever. When picking teams for a competition, skip the best player, pick the person who normally picked last. Sit with the person who is all alone at lunch. Train with the new student, who hasn’t made many friends and hasn’t found their “go-to” partner to train with. When you do this, notice their reaction. Did they stand a little taller? Did they get a half confused, half excited smile when they weren’t the last one picked for the team? How engaged in conversation were they with you as you talked during lunch? Did their demeanor change from quiet and shy to confident and happy? You just created this impressionable moment for them. Your random act of kindness just made that person’s day a little brighter. Check feelings here X . How did it make you feel? Pretty awesome right? That warm fuzzy feeling 😊. Now hold onto that and let that be your motivation to do it again. If we all do a little more for each other, there is no end to the happiness we can create together. And together we can all make this world a little better place.
These are great ideas about kindness and empathy. It only takes a little act of kindness towards to anyone to make their day brighter.
I can certainly remember recess at Alta Vista Elementary School in Auburn. It was a good day if I didn’t get picked last for kickball. So, I accept your challenge.
@eclark, This one really hits home. I had a rough time in elementary school. My latter years were particularly rough as I wasn’t particular athletic and I wasn’t into most sports like other kids my age. It actually wasn’t until I moved to Auburn that the bullying stopped and I met an awesome group of friends. As a martial arts teacher, I often see that version of myself in our youngest students. It’s a good reminder that a space like the dojo and their karate training might be their one safe place where they are treated with respect and kindness and are picked first.