Written by Being a Black Belt – What does that mean to me?
It is difficult to explain to someone who has not practiced a martial art. Some of my family and friends will be with me at the dojo to support me during my test and I appreciate that a lot. They all know what the theory of the test entails, how many rounds to spar, how many push-ups to do, how many acts of kindness to commit, and how many miles to walk.
However, it ends there. This year of commitment was mainly for me to walk alone, besides the guidance of my Sensei and the exchange I had with David san. I am immensely grateful to have done this with David, but below the line it was a test of me.
Fighting my weaker inner self, getting out of bed to work out, go to practice even if I would rather lie on my couch. I can say I have done it. I have achieved the numbers needed, read six books, and especially I did not quit.
With hopefully passing the Black Belt Test I will have reached a milestone. For my previous Sho Dan test in 2008 I had the needed requirements, I knew my katas, could show Kumite applications, and subsequently passed. However, it was just that -another test in a row of tests.
Now, I have to work for it, I have to earn it, I have to show commitment over the course of a full year! Not quitting here is the majority of the test. You cannot explain this, you have to live it, and you have to experience it for yourself.
Becoming a Black Belt is a tremendous accomplishment for me. It was hard, I wanted to quit, but I did not. It means to be part of a special circle of people, who came all the way from white belts and did not quit. It means to be a kind of role model for all the students in our dojo that come after me. It means to help and guide them on their path; the path, which they have to walk on their own. It means that I still have to learn and better myself to be able to live up to these expectations.
It is also a new opportunity to grow, to gain more experience in teaching, to accept more responsibilities in and around the dojo.
There is so much more to experience of what I do not know about Karate, myself, and the practice of martial arts. From now on I have to be even more independent on my journey. I know my ropes now; have a certain understanding of the art. Yet, I am again at the beginning of something new. Sensei Oliver put it that way: I know how to swim; now it is time to try it out in the deep end.
Over the past years there was one goal – passing the Black Belt Test. Now I do not have that North Star anymore, but I know I have the guidance of my Sensei on my path forward.
I am looking forward to the new challenges and opportunities on the way.