Written by A good self-improvement book is grounded in core principles and makes an impact. Impact is the key word I’m throwing out to y’all. You know what else makes an impact? A gut punch and a kick in the rear. A memorable self-improvement book should kind of feel like that. I love the scene in Kingdom of Heaven when Godfrey of Ibelin (Liam Neeson) knights his son Balian (Orlando Bloom).
Godfrey – “Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath…SLAP… That is so you remember it.”
I recently read Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. Ego is the Enemy lands like a knee to the groin. Which means you’ll remember it. I sure did. Part of what makes the book good is how Holiday is candid about his own ego. It’s natural to believe you’re humble. Many people say to themselves,” I don’t have an ego.” “I’m the nicest person you’ll ever meet.” “I’m the humblest person I know!” But are they really?
Think about how much you forget. Can you remember the last conversation you had with your co-worker, school mate or spouse? Maybe not. Listening requires humility. Listening requires thinking that the noises matter. Sit with that and you’ll suddenly hear Gordon Ramsey say, “Get your head out of your arse.”
The strange thing about the ego is that it’s honestly looking out for us. Ego tells us that we deserve a promotion, to practice martial arts, and to be somebody important. It wants us to have fun and to celebrate our victory’s. These are not bad things. Ego only becomes the enemy when it’s missing the counterbalance of humility. Humility is what we’re supposed to develop in our training.
This is accomplished by embracing the beginner’s mind. Learning new techniques, training with people better than us, and setting goals shouldn’t stop after black belt. Never, ever be afraid to be a put on a white belt again.
The objective is to integrate the ego so that it serves its true purpose. Martial arts books that discuss Eastern philosophy focus on overcoming the ego. This can be mistaken for suppressing it. Anything that you suppress grows stronger. An out-of-control ego is like a two-year-old that’s screaming “ME, ME, ME.” When you say no to a two-year-old the screaming only gets louder.
Integrating the ego will help you develop your inner coach. An effective coach allows his team to celebrate when they win. But come next practice he drops the hammer and explains why they won by three points instead of ten. In other words, the egos job is to pat you on the back for taking a step. Humility’s job is to remind you that the journey’s 1,000 miles.
It’s going on my to read list!